What the fuck did I just see? Its glossy alright, but gloss cant cover the gaping cracks/ holes/ fissures/ pits/ potholes/ moon like craters in that most essential thing that makes a movie, namely a story. There is NO story. Nothing resembling a plot. It is a pure leave-brains-at-home kinda flick. And it's not even David Dhawan, where leaving the brains at home becomes a task slightly easier to swallow.

Dus is an attempt at a “slick”, “holleewoood” kinda movie. It fails miserably, utterly and spectacularly at doing anything.

I was literally laughing my fat ass off at the end. It was so mindnumbingly anal to watch it. Anal is the word I guess. I cant even begin to start the pointless-because-of-the-sheer-magnitude-of-the-job task of pointing out the fallacies and crap in the movie. But let me indulge you in some moments which I remember quite distinctly. The opening song/ sequence of intros was pretty ok. The half naked women parading around AB Jr and Zayed Khan (who singularly irritates with “Lets Rock“, fratboy whoops and an accent that any Daksh employee would be proud of. He cant act even his life/ money/ wife/ balls depended on it; Godonlyknows his quite-wooden Dad was better). Sanjay Dutt looks the part, his mentor like image was quite nice. The wardrobe in this movie is also not bad at all. And the constant focus on wannabe “Lady” Croft and her quite strange and disfigured Batman-logo tattoo were quite distasteful. Shilpa Shetty's physique looks in top shape though. Nice abs and all. But she still cant act, the impact of multiple(?) nose-jobs is unavoidable. The story is disjointed, more betrayls and distrust and double-triple crossing is also there (or atleast I was so much in the mire of boredom, I imagined it). I wont bother getting pedantic about it, suffice to say, there is no story.

Suniel Shetty proves yet again, he cant act, and his hair colour sucks egg. b:blunt and Adhuna-ji appointment please. Esha Deol looks retarded with the haircut, and I still maintain, mum Hema Malini in her 50s, looks better then Esha. Sorry Esha! Hema Malini is the original and the eternal Dreamgirl of Indian cinema. The grace, the smile, the sexy curves, whooooooooo. Abhishek Bachhan sleepwalked through the movie, Pankaj Kapoor was irritating as the Mehendi guy earlier and quite ok later as the movie wore on. The song Deedar De rocked. Nice babes, nice arabic tinge to the song. the plot twists were quite predictable, Papster, of acknowledged and limited intellect (hehe) guessed stuff right, from the start and THAT is a bad sign. It was very awkward to be laughing at the end of a movie in a packed movie hall walking out after a scene of some tragedy, but just couldn't help it. So bloody whacky it was!

As with a lot of movies this summer, Eeeeeeks! WTF!